shoesonwrong

Ryan: Wisonsin.

Me: I don’t like anything west of Chicago or east of San Francisco.

Ryan: The South.

Me: Humidity.

[we go through about thirty more states that I arbitrarily dismiss, mostly using stereotypes and information I made up]

Ryan: Delaware. That’s all that’s left.

Me: I feel like it’s haunted.

[I proceed to arbitrarily dismiss every country we can think of]

Ryan: That leaves living on a boat in international waters.

Me: No dolphins.

Ryan: What? Why?

Me: They’re awful. Like rabbits. They look like they want to say something, but they never do.

Ryan: Well, the boat can stay in colder climates.

Me: Then you risk penguins.

Ryan: PENGUINS?

Me: They are angry about being flightless birds.

Ryan: Okay, we will stay in Michigan.

Me: I hate countries or states shaped like articles of clothing.

Ryan: That bubble from the Truman Show?

Me: … I would consider it.

Ryan: I feel really good about company X. The interview went well, and the company seems exciting with room for growth.

Me: Me too! I am excited about company X!

[next day]

Me: I had a bad dream that I can’t fully remember about moving into a haunted hotel and now I forget why I like company X.

Places I might live in the next few months based on today’s events. Possibly. We will see.

• Ann Arbor, Michigan
• Madison, Wisconsin
• Washington, DC

Does Wisconsin really have a lot of cheese? I need motivation to move.

AND THE NAMING PORTION OF THE DAY.

“A Boston Market. A Men’s Wearhouse. A TJ Maxx!”